5. Well, who the hell are YOU? I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. If someone insults you, dont call them a nasty name. Discover short videos related to comebacks if someone says i have a brain on TikTok. 41. 2. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. If you're feeling extra ambitious and slightly willing to risk your job, there are even zingers for the notorious cranky customer. I always yawn when Im interested. Ordinarily people live and learn. Source: https://ishouldhavesaid.net/what-to-say-when-people-make-fun-of-your-big-forehead/. Store these funny comebacks in the back of your mind so you always have a good burn at the ready. Please, keep talking. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Thats fantastic. When you can establish with your response that you are not craving low-level friendships like the person in the name of being social, you will be seen as an independent and confident individual. Go right in. When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price? When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, Ill say it was your stupidity. When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening. Why dont you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? Why dont you slip into something more comfortable like a coma. Dont worry. I choose my friends, and youre not one of them. We've all been there: knowing the best comebacks to say after the argument is over. No matter how many shmucks I meet in my life, I can always trust you to be the absolute worst. I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed. Again, you can make the remark more about them and less about you by turning the table. Everyones entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege. Guy: Does beauty run in your family?Girl: It obviously doesnt in yours! No matter how much a snake sheds its skin, its still a snake. That's as close as you're going to get to me giving a shit. It reminded me to take out the trash. If Tyra didn't have a large forehead she might not have had the career as a supermodel. Aww, dont worry, you are wantedwanted for several accounts of perjury. 18. Somewhere out there, there's a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. Guy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Help! But if you get yourself familiar with some classic comeback statements, youd be able to flaunt confidence whenever such hurtful words are said to you. Our Stand Up for Yourself the Easy Way Guide will show you how to do it in just 3 simple steps. You can also ask the person why they think you don't have any friends. ago. They say that two heads are better than one. You got into an argument with a frenemy or a stranger and they got you so riled up that you couldnt come up with a good comeback until long after the fighting is over. I treasure the time I dont spend with you. I offended you with my opinion? Being told that you look young is usually a positive thing, and many women welcome the compliment. They often hide behind the shield of their unwavering "honesty," but be careful not to confuse honesty with unpleasant, baseless . ago. 1. What is a good comeback when someone told me to die in a fire? Don't dish out what you can't take in return. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. I am aware that you are nobody's fool, but soon, you will be adopted. By giving this response, the person is made to believe that they have bigger problems to worry about.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_9',120,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Agree or not, people like validation. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. Why should I take all the credit? Brains arent everything. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. You go to yours and Ill go to mine. Look no further, because here are some good comebacks to use: The best comebacks make you look mature. Bro you lookin at my dick thats hella weird. I understand everything you said. 14. Youre an unscented candle in a store full of beautiful fragrances. For example, if the statement is coming from family members, it is not wise to quickly conclude that they said that to do you harm. You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. You're as sharp as a rubber ball. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. 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Our Stand Up for Yourself the Easy Way Guide will show you how to do it in just 3 simple steps. Girl: I love biscuitsGuy: Thats because youre crackers! The list below has a comeback for practically every situation you could possibly run into from the jerk boyfriend and the fake friend to the helicopter parent and the nosy neighbor. How many licks till I get to the interesting part of this conversation? 1. You're so ugly, you couldn't even arouse suspicion. 59. There was some terrible traffic accident on the news today. Of course Im talking like an idiot how else could you understand me? He has offered his skills to the fields of marketing, healthcare, and gaming, to name a few. Your secrets are always safe with me. 65. Guy: Your place or mine?Girl: Both. Pick your response from this angle.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-banner-1','ezslot_5',119,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-banner-1-0'); If you want to admit that the person is right about you not having friends, you dont have to do it nicely since the person did not nicely tell you too. Youre so right. So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. If you ever cross my mind, Ill make sure its a busy intersection. 38. 36. Her comments come after a study found almost one in two people have admitted to doing the deed on the first meeting. The truth will set you free. Oops! And yes, Im referring to the mirror as well. up for yourself? At least you can hide it under bangs or a hat. We all have something different about that people love to point out and make fun of. No amount of self-editing can fix the massive failure your autobiography would be. Its people like you that make it so easy to be picky about who I hang around with, 23. You should hear the ones I keep to myself. 91. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. You sound better with your mouth closed. I love what youve done with your hair. 63. Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); Top Comebacks When Someone Calls You A Clown, What Do You Call Someone Who Doesnt Leave Their Comfort Zone, Is It Rude to Ask for a Tip (Heres What We Know! Copyright Social Mettle & Buzzle.com, Inc. 51. Youre not simply a drama queen. Now that you mention it, that kind of reminds me to empty the compost, too. How else would you understand me? Row, row, row your boat gently down a raging fucking waterfall. 47. 9. By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy. Girl: Youre so fat!Guy: Hey, I may be fat, but youll always be ugly, and I can diet! This kid will say stuff and doesn't really know what that means. 43. Are you ready to hop in that garbage can? Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met. People like you are the reason Im on medication. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. Wish I had a flip phone so I could slam it shut on this conversation. Dont blame me for your stupidity. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. Care to help? Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. You seem to have a lot on your mind a lot of bullshit. You just have bad luck when youre thinking. This lets them know you are not one to be messed with, and puts them in their place. Like six. It should take three, like a Tootsie Pop. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Your parents, for one. % of people told us that this article helped them. We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. If I threw a stick, youd leave, right? Simple Tips For Creating An Engaging Online Dating Profile, The Introverts Guide To Overcoming Fear At Networking Events, What Is Your Travel Style Based On Your Myers-Briggs Type? 24. They blurt out the first thing that comes to their mind, without thinking about the consequences. Then what should i reply? Youre like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. By this, compare your situation to theirs and make theirs look grave. 89. 31. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up? I envy people who have never met you. I noticed the improvement immediately. You are so dishonest that I cant even be sure that what you tell me are lies! You are so dumb, you need a cue card to say Huh? You are so dumb, you need instructions on how to use a rocking chair. You are so dumb, you planted a dogwood tree and expected a litter of puppies. You are so dumb, you play solitaire for cash. You are so old, if you to acted your age, youd die. Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke. 87. I never pick on somebody who is unarmed. Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? 50. 8. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Youve got something on your face. I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed. I think you should go and apologize to it. Make sure you commit these to memory. Hence, these comebacks will come off in handy.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'callforte_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_3',130,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); If their statement is true, remember that it is normal not to have too many friends. Maybe we can invite them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell. Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke. I gave out all my trophies a while ago, but heres a participation award. 92. Learn how to stand up for yourself in any situation, the easy way. I wanted to live life without many regrets. If you act mature, they'll know that they can't upset you. It puts them in a tough position to respond to your comeback. If you want to be a smartass, you have to be smart. It got a little chillier in here once I realized you were a cold-hearted bitch. 77. Yourfamilytree must be a cactus cause youre all a bunch of pricks. If someone said i have a big forehead, i would sayThanks for the compliment! Guy: Im all youve got cutie pie.Girl: Then I must not have a lot. The person will get confused when you give a response that indicates that you couldnt care less about what they think of you. 1. baldeaglewithhair 5 mo. In your case, one would have been better than none. We all spring from apes, but you didnt spring far enough. We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, do not come home and all will be forgiven. Saying any of this to them will make you feel better and more confident as opposed to their expectation of your reaction. Welcome to I Should Have Said where we teach verbal self-defense and how to stand up for yourself the easy way. Ever feel like you just don't know how to speak up for yourself? You need to be able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in return. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. This friend was still in his late teens at the time. Child, Ive forgotten more than you ever knew. 13. Think of a great comeback and put it in your brain. 91 Short Jokes//172 Dad Jokes//91 Corny Jokes//75 Stupid Jokes//82 Dark Humor Jokes RELATED:111 Ways To Say "F*ck You" While Keeping It Classy. Hey, you have something on your chin. You wouldnt want to go around with people that keep telling you that you have no friends because of your attitude. I have a present for you. Youll walk away feeling victorious! You hear that? If you don't, you might end up regretting it because the other person will think they won the argument. If the person you said this was part of your friend at the time he or she made the statement, you can threaten your relationship with the person and say that you want to make new ones. Theyll find this collection of roasts hilarious! What this will be interpreted as is that you have seen the advice from the remark they made, but that advice is to do away with them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-leader-1','ezslot_0',121,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-leader-1-0'); Nobody is perfect. Guy: I can tell that you want me.Girl: Ohhhh. I hope you stay there. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. ago. RELATED:30 Perfect Comebacks To Use When Someone Calls You Fat. I'm sorry; I didn't realize that my appearance was supposed to meet your standards. Good Comebacks 1. We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more! I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool. You must be the arithmetic man you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. You must have a low opinion of people if you think theyre your equals. You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light. Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use: "You've got very short hair, are you a lesbian?". For example, if your bosom friend is stressing about an attitude of yours that keeps people away from you, then you can use this response. So it is forgivable that they assume wrongly. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. The amount of meaningful things youve done in your life wouldnt be enough to fill a single page. It's totally frustrating after an argument to finally think of a great thing you could have said during the fight. 71. Ill never forget the first time we met. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. "Busted, now if you'll excuse me, I need to buy a pair of nice-looking men's overalls and Dr. Martens.". When you're done perusing this post, learn how else we can help you here. Id finally get some peace and quiet. Best Deez Nuts Jokes | Best Yo Mama Jokes RELATED:These 6 Personality Types Always Need To Have The Last Word And Win Every Argument. Thanks for helping me understand that. Its better that Im hated for who I am than loved for who Im not. Minimum-Ingenuity550 9 mo. Realistic people are admired. Dont be ashamed of who you are. You are direct, intentional, and focused, and take pride in your personality.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'callforte_com-leader-3','ezslot_11',126,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-leader-3-0'); You dont always have to make it look like you are the only one with the fault. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? ago. I dont want to rain on your parade. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain. But if you do get insulted, of course you need a comeback! Lower your standards a little, I just did. "You're such a nerd" "Thanks for calling me smart, honey." "I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter than you." 5. Youre like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. Get well soon." 2. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! I applaud your effort, but I think Im the only one in the audience. Some people hatch into beautiful butterflies. Use the situation that led to the person saying you dont have friends to leverage your comeback. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. RELATED:75 Best Sassy Savage Quotes For When You're In A Mood. Id like to leave you with one thoughtbut Im not sure you have anywhere to put it! Im looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I havent had it yet. If I ever need a brain transplant, Id choose yours because Id want a brain that had never been used. If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, Im glad. If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move? If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. What doesnt kill you, disappoints me. Thanks for the advice, now go get a life yourself. Friend: Yeah, let's keep it that way If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Hey, your village called they want their idiot back. By then, you will see other ways to make the issue about them and not you. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? Want more humor? Go back to wherever you came from! I never even listen when you tell me them. Please, save your breath. 61. Youre the reason the divorce rate is so high. But here's hoping. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay in the yard. A balloon full of piss makes a bigger splash than your entire meaningless existence will on this planet. And the best part? Yep, the prettiest girls all seem to have the biggest foreheads. Youre like my fridge: always full of yourself yet offering an abundance of empty calories. A relationship expert has said having sex on the first date can be beneficial. Im not going to repeat myself, but Im also glad to do anything that prevents you from talking. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. Ive never had many life goals. 12. I'm the person you should have treated with respect. Oops! Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. Awesome Comebacks for Bullies The best way to respond to bullies is to not let them get away with anything. no man it was a comeback for the dude saying it . Dont hate me because Im beautiful. I would like some tips on how to clear my mind from someone with nothing meaningful to contribute. The case is even worse when you feel you do have friends, but not as many compared to others. 99. 56. How awful. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. Someday you'll go far. Guy: But I dont know your name.Girl: Thats in the phone book too. Large and in charge isnt your excuse to be a fat asshole. Your absence would affect me greatly. We all know the feeling. I want a typhoon. Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it? Only a socially-awkward jackass would make a comment like that. Additionally, he loves to write zany fiction stories and take care of his pet frog. 3 4 4 comments Best Add a Comment Icy_Wave7089 1 yr. ago That's what your mother said about you That makes two of us Now I see why I attract such a loser like u That's what came up in your Mri report You must be so tired to come up with such a genius comeback on your own . More than you. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. You be the door and Ill slam you. Look, dont go to a mind reader; go to a palm reader; I know youve got a palm. Looking at you, I realize what a waste of skin you are. Moonlight becomes you total darkness even more! Nobody says that you are dumb. I found it in my business. The 0.01% of germs are afraid of contracting stupidity from you. People who have no filter don't know how to keep their thoughts, feelings, or emotions in. Dont end there. Well, Id better go find the best looking guy then! Why not use this point of agreement to drive a comeback? I think you should go and apologize to it. 30. Guy: I think youre the best looking girl in here.Girl: Really? Even if it is true, this is just an easy way of remarking less about you. 85. You are so dumb, you stand on a chair to raise your IQ. You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. You are very smart. Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? You are a pizza burn on the roof of the worlds mouth. Which means you're just as hard to remove. I want you on the other side of it. A funny comeback will help you win any argument. Use these when you don't feel like being sweet as a peach the next time you find yourself arguing with a bully. 1. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. It's bigger than the women your dad sleeps with. Admit with confidence that you dont have friends. I am returning your nose. 30 Best Comebacks When Someone Says You Don't Have Any Friends 1. His name is Dudley. If you ever encounter a bully or anyone who says something mean to you for no good reason, snap right back at them! It might even defuse the argument. Youre not stupid! I wrote something nice for you in invisible ink. Cookie Notice and our January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. I thought you were the monster under my bed. just not around you." 3. 2. Thankfully, here are 30 different things to say when someone tells you that you dont have any friends. 10 Shocking Ways To Break A Trauma Bond With A Narcissist, How Narcissists And Psychopaths Create Powerful Trauma Bonds: 6 Common Manipulative Tactics, Are You There God? The only fault about this comeback is that it can reflect that you are angry and vulnerable when reminded of your reality. Good comeback for "and you have no brains". You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. Pay no heed to it. You shouldnt waste your time on people who do not have good intentions towards you just because you want to prove you can make friends with people. I do not mind you talking a lot, as long as you do not mind me not paying attention. These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk. Purposeful and intentional people are respected and feared. 46. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Learn more Do you hate it when people insult you and want to give them a nice, smooth comeback? Yes, you must have 10 times as many brain cells as I! Dont you think Im pretty now? You are the architect of your life. Whered you get your clothes, girl, American Apparently Not? 48. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. Good job. Ever feel like you don't know what to say to challenging people? I love what youve done with your hair. Here are a few fun comebacks you can use next time someone makes about a joke about your 5head. Guy: I can see forever in your eyes.Girl: But all I can see is never in yours. You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. You are like a cloud. 3. Someday youll go far. At least I am still better looking than you! You can see that the comeback makes the insult more about the person than you. They say our brains dont stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. 3. Youre a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. 80. Here's what to say when someone says "make me" in a rude way. Thanks for the compliment! 21. Were you born on the highway? wikiHow is a wiki, similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. The fact that someone wakes up to your face in the morning should be alarming. When somebody. Do you want a kissy on your boo-boo? Before you came along we were hungry. I farted. Thats your parents job. 86. 17. Also, as the person attempts to explain, the impact and weight of the remark that is supposed to be felt emotionally will be defused. That being said, allow me to redirect you to the discount section. You are not yourself today. Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard meI said, You Look fat in those pants. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Unfortunately, the blueprints are messy, written in Mandarin, and waterlogged beyond all recognition. Has anyone ever tried to smack some sense into you? "You're stuck up" "Jealousy is a disease. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Of course, youd expect people to keep the person at arms length. 62. Im trying to imagine you with personality. Your secrets are always safe with me. 7. my brain fits my forehead, unlike you i have a bigger one c: My forehead IS big But your ego is bigger! It is better to shut these bullies now with sarcastic comebacks . 30 Comebacks When Someone Calls You A Cry Baby by Admin We know that when one is called a crybaby; it is because they exhibit traits relatable to babies, which includes crying often. Friend: Who sings this? Itll also make you look hilarious to anyone who overhears. Ive seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/1e\/Make-a-Clean-Comeback-Step-1-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Make-a-Clean-Comeback-Step-1-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/1e\/Make-a-Clean-Comeback-Step-1-Version-2.jpg\/aid132194-v4-728px-Make-a-Clean-Comeback-Step-1-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"